Cultural differences, day to day edition
When you live in a foreign country, you're regularly confronted with the unfamiliar and the unexpected. People do ordinary things in what seem like extraordinary ways. It can be simultaneously fascinating and frustrating, but it's the real reason I love to go to countries outside the United States. I'm always interested in seeing how different people do everyday things, trying to understand why they do them that way, and adapting to fit in so that you don't stand out so much.
Keep in mind as you read this that I'm not trying to make any value judgements here. I'm just observing what I see from the perspective of a white guy from California. I've lived in China less than six months and I'm only just starting to understand how little I know about how things are done here. I'm writing this to educate and maybe entertain a little, too.
One of the first things I noticed was how little regarded your personal space is. In the US, we tend to have a fairly large bubble of personal space and get agitated if someone gets in it. It makes us uncomfortable to be too close to someone we don't know. In China, this kind of thing just doesn't exist. If you're in a public space you can expect someone to brush against you regularly or stand quite close to you. I've been in several lines for cashiers and had people almost lean against me while waiting. It's disconcerting at first, but after a while you get used to it and it doesn't register as strongly. You just have to realize that it's the way things are here, and roll with it.
This is probably related to the lack of personal space, but it seems like Chinese people aren't very good at queueing up for things. There's more of a "if I can get in front of you in this line then you weren't actually ready" kind of vibe in a lot of places. I've seen old ladies in the grocery store just nonchalantly walk past people waiting to get their produce weighed and put it on the scale, and no one says anything to them. The grocer weighs their groceries and sends them on their way. I haven't figured out the unspoken rules about this yet, but it's fascinating. I'm not about to try to muscle my way to the front of any line just yet, but I feel like once I've cracked this code I'll know when and where I can do it.
The Chinese don't walk up or down escalators, or walk on people movers in airports. It's fascinating to me. They're usually all about getting some place quickly and shouldering their way past slow moving people on the street, but get them on a moving stair and they're all of a sudden content to wait. I'll admit that this one puzzles me, and makes me a bit frustrated at times. "Stand to the right, walk on the left" is a rule that was drilled into me at a young age and no one follows it here. I'm learning patience about it, but there are times when I just want to be rude and shoulder past the people in front of me. The thing is, I'm not sure it would be considered rude of me to do that. I just don't see anyone else doing it, and I don't want to be "that foreigner" breaking some sort of unwritten rule.
Chinese people stare, and they don't smile nearly as much as folks from the US. This combination makes it seem like they're angry at you or disapproving, but it's more likely that they've never seen a foreigner in person before. This might be different in a larger more international city like Beijing or Hong Kong, but in Guiyang non-Chinese people are as rare as hen's teeth. You will get looked at wherever you go, and people will surreptitiously or not so surreptitiously take your picture to show their friends later. It's unnerving at first, but now it's just part of the background wherever I go. I'll admit, it feels a little like I'm some sort of minor celebrity and I'm ok with that feeling.
Have you ever been in a store and couldn't find an employee to help you out? This is simply not a problem here in China. In supermarkets, you'll find employees in nearly every aisle of the store, waiting to answer your questions or sell you on the latest things. In clothing stores you'll have someone available in every department, eager to help you in any way they can. It's great.
However, if you go to a restaurant you shouldn't expect your server to regularly come to you and see if there's anything you need. You'll need to get their attention, usually by shouting across the room, in order to get something. This definitely took some getting used to, because in the US shouting at your server to come over is a good way to get some spit in your meal. It's something I'll definitely have to adjust when I come back to my home country.
Cigarette smoking is a lot more popular here than in the States, and there isn't much of a stigma about it. People will smoke everywhere: in malls, in restaurants, even in the courtyard of a school. I understand that there are a lot fewer people who smoke than there used to be, but it's definitely more noticeable than I am used to. It's not my favorite part of living here, if I'm being truly honest.
People from the US always talk about how good the food is in other countries. In China, I think I know one reason why it might be. The Chinese are obsessed with the freshness of their food. They're wary of anything that looks processed or frozen, and they're very picky about the produce and meat they buy in the markets. Not only are traditional butchers and fishmongers fairly common, each major supermarket has the functional equivalent of one. The major supermarket near my home has a wall of aquariums full of live fish and other seafood that you can bag up and take home live to make fresh for dinner. It was the first thing I saw that made me understand just how different a country I was living in.
I haven't bought any live seafood yet, because I'm not a huge fan of seafood. I might have to do it at least once, though. If I'm not going to do something way outside my normal experience, what's the point of living in a foreign country anyway?
I'll have a lot more to say in subsequent posts, but I thought this would give you a sense of what it's like to be here.
Keep in mind as you read this that I'm not trying to make any value judgements here. I'm just observing what I see from the perspective of a white guy from California. I've lived in China less than six months and I'm only just starting to understand how little I know about how things are done here. I'm writing this to educate and maybe entertain a little, too.
One of the first things I noticed was how little regarded your personal space is. In the US, we tend to have a fairly large bubble of personal space and get agitated if someone gets in it. It makes us uncomfortable to be too close to someone we don't know. In China, this kind of thing just doesn't exist. If you're in a public space you can expect someone to brush against you regularly or stand quite close to you. I've been in several lines for cashiers and had people almost lean against me while waiting. It's disconcerting at first, but after a while you get used to it and it doesn't register as strongly. You just have to realize that it's the way things are here, and roll with it.
This is probably related to the lack of personal space, but it seems like Chinese people aren't very good at queueing up for things. There's more of a "if I can get in front of you in this line then you weren't actually ready" kind of vibe in a lot of places. I've seen old ladies in the grocery store just nonchalantly walk past people waiting to get their produce weighed and put it on the scale, and no one says anything to them. The grocer weighs their groceries and sends them on their way. I haven't figured out the unspoken rules about this yet, but it's fascinating. I'm not about to try to muscle my way to the front of any line just yet, but I feel like once I've cracked this code I'll know when and where I can do it.
The Chinese don't walk up or down escalators, or walk on people movers in airports. It's fascinating to me. They're usually all about getting some place quickly and shouldering their way past slow moving people on the street, but get them on a moving stair and they're all of a sudden content to wait. I'll admit that this one puzzles me, and makes me a bit frustrated at times. "Stand to the right, walk on the left" is a rule that was drilled into me at a young age and no one follows it here. I'm learning patience about it, but there are times when I just want to be rude and shoulder past the people in front of me. The thing is, I'm not sure it would be considered rude of me to do that. I just don't see anyone else doing it, and I don't want to be "that foreigner" breaking some sort of unwritten rule.
Chinese people stare, and they don't smile nearly as much as folks from the US. This combination makes it seem like they're angry at you or disapproving, but it's more likely that they've never seen a foreigner in person before. This might be different in a larger more international city like Beijing or Hong Kong, but in Guiyang non-Chinese people are as rare as hen's teeth. You will get looked at wherever you go, and people will surreptitiously or not so surreptitiously take your picture to show their friends later. It's unnerving at first, but now it's just part of the background wherever I go. I'll admit, it feels a little like I'm some sort of minor celebrity and I'm ok with that feeling.
Have you ever been in a store and couldn't find an employee to help you out? This is simply not a problem here in China. In supermarkets, you'll find employees in nearly every aisle of the store, waiting to answer your questions or sell you on the latest things. In clothing stores you'll have someone available in every department, eager to help you in any way they can. It's great.
However, if you go to a restaurant you shouldn't expect your server to regularly come to you and see if there's anything you need. You'll need to get their attention, usually by shouting across the room, in order to get something. This definitely took some getting used to, because in the US shouting at your server to come over is a good way to get some spit in your meal. It's something I'll definitely have to adjust when I come back to my home country.
Cigarette smoking is a lot more popular here than in the States, and there isn't much of a stigma about it. People will smoke everywhere: in malls, in restaurants, even in the courtyard of a school. I understand that there are a lot fewer people who smoke than there used to be, but it's definitely more noticeable than I am used to. It's not my favorite part of living here, if I'm being truly honest.
People from the US always talk about how good the food is in other countries. In China, I think I know one reason why it might be. The Chinese are obsessed with the freshness of their food. They're wary of anything that looks processed or frozen, and they're very picky about the produce and meat they buy in the markets. Not only are traditional butchers and fishmongers fairly common, each major supermarket has the functional equivalent of one. The major supermarket near my home has a wall of aquariums full of live fish and other seafood that you can bag up and take home live to make fresh for dinner. It was the first thing I saw that made me understand just how different a country I was living in.
I haven't bought any live seafood yet, because I'm not a huge fan of seafood. I might have to do it at least once, though. If I'm not going to do something way outside my normal experience, what's the point of living in a foreign country anyway?
I'll have a lot more to say in subsequent posts, but I thought this would give you a sense of what it's like to be here.
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